Kids say the darndest things. And sometimes, it requires a talking to from the teacher. Most parents have gotten a phone call from school to discuss their child's faux pas, including Reddit user u/sstr677. To get some support from fellow parents, she shared with r/Parenting: "What is the most embarrassing teacher talk you have had to have?"
She followed up with a hilarious story that happened with her daughter. "I am currently feeling horrified because when I went to pick up my 3 year old daughter from pre-k, I was pulled aside to have a talk. I was told that during lunch, the teacher asked for everyone's favorite food. My daughter's response was 'deez nuts', something she has undoubtedly picked up from her older brother and his friends."
Deez Nuts GIF by GIPHY Studios 2021Giphy
She went on to explain that the teacher said she was shocked and told her daughter how inappropriate that was, but wanted her to know as well. "We talked a bit on the way home, but I know she was just trying to make a joke she didn't fully understand," she added. "Mostly I am just mortified that other kids may tell their parents and the teacher probably thinks my children are total foul mouthed heathens. My son, when he was in the same pre-k, also informed the entire class what 'going commando' means after he had an accident and I did not have spare undies the day prior. I heard that from a parent who learned the term from my son and asked why he didn't get to do that. I am sure they think I am a real winner over there. Reassure me. What crazy things have your kids done at school?"
Get ready for some full belly laughs. Here are 20 of the best replies to: "What is the most embarrassing teacher talk you have had to have?"
1. "Okay, I'm a teacher of First grade who also spent a lot of time in K, I would have had SUCH a hard time not laughing uproariously at this. The majority of teachers would know that if they have older siblings they are 100% mimicking and don't understand what joke they're making...I can't speak for that specific teacher, but most of my peers would not judge you at all." – Prestigious-Lynx5716
2. "My son told his preschool class that I had been in prison a lot. Got a message from kindergarten that my kid had peed behind a bush on the playground, then denied it. My kid was doing introductions for a new sports team in front of full team plus parents at a beginning of season mixer. Coach asked them to share a fun fact that people didn’t know. Most kids were sharing fav food, vacation spots, hobbies. Mine gleefully announced he had a birthmark on the underside of his penis. The guffaws from parents. I think I turned purple. I mean. In all fairness. No one knew that fact 🤷🏼♀️" – VoglioVolare
3. "Honestly, I think the teacher made a bigger deal out of this than it warranted. It’s so clear that a 3-year-old wouldn’t understand what she’s saying there! I think gently redirecting and mentioning the comment to you so you can handle it at home is fine, but getting shocked and lecturing (?) a toddler about inappropriate language is a bit much." – _eitherstar
4. "My daughter goes to after school daycare and has since first grade, and last year I got pulled aside because she was writing out the lyrics to songs that had swear words. When I asked her about it she said she technically didn’t break the rules because they weren’t allowed to SAY the swear words at daycare. Now the daycare has a new rule, you can’t say or write swear words. 🤦🏼♀️ for context I have always told them if they are quoting something it doesn’t need to be censored, buuut it’s needs to be in an environment that’s safe to do so. You can’t go to school and sing songs that have those words but if you’re singing along in the car it’s fine. Before anyone comes after me for this, I’m trying to raise kids that can read Romeo and Juliet out loud in 7th grade that aren’t going to giggle at the word breast or bosom or feel too embarrassed to tell me the words someone said to her. We never ever call another person any word (even poopy pants is not allowed) but if the songs says shit it’s free game.." – No_Plankton1156
Michelle Tanner Wow GIF by Bubble PunkGiphy
5. "My children can’t have regular milk (one child it causes excessive vomiting and the other diarrhea) when they do have milk they drink goats milk. One day at lunch my child (6) randomly tells his teacher he can not have the schools milk because Mommy only gives him breast milk… Made for an interesting conversation 🤣 luckily I do know most of the teachers and staff fairly well so it was all in good fun but also slightly embarrassing 😅" – Full_Ear8058
6. "My child threw feces on her teacher's desk in preschool. They handled in remarkably well." – LDL2
7. "My MIL was a 5th grade teacher who worked in the same school as my daughter. My daughter was in kinder. While coming back from lunch the teacher said something like it’s hoooot today I’m sweating kids” in which my daughter replied “ma’am you have menopause and that’s a hot flash my grandma get those” my MIL was mortified her teacher was in her 20s. Also my daughter always took water containers to schools. I told her I didn’t want her drinking from the fountain most fountains have led. So her in 1st grade started a rumor that spread all over the school that the water fountains have led and you’ll eventually die from poison. Parents were concerned and it was my daughter who was telling every kid in school." – Signifcant_Net101
8. "My little sister, a bright-eyed and very bushy-tailed three year old, was in her daycare class of about 10 children when one of the other kids got into trouble. As this other child was being scolded, it got quiet, as it does when something monumentous happens in a daycare classroom. It got just quiet enough to hear my baby sister pipe up with 'she's fixin' to get her ass beat."' Needless to say, my mother had to hold a straight face and profess, 'I have no idea where she could have heard that!' to the teacher. The teacher said the only problem they had was trying to keep a straight face as they chastised her for saying such things. 😂😂." – thermdynaequili1206
9. "When my kid was in kindergarten she would go full Napoleon Dynamite and smuggle tater tots out of the cafeteria in her pockets. The teacher emailed me to make sure I knew about the school's food pantry. We had plenty of food at home, she just really liked the tater tots." – hufflepuffy314
Napoleon Dynamite Pocket GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
10. "So my daughter didn’t finish her homework once. She told the teacher she couldn’t ask her dad because he doesn’t do math. She said she couldn’t ask me because I come home from work and go straight to bed. Neither of these are true. She just didn’t want to do her math." – dragonfly325
11. "I got a call from the middle school principal saying my son got in trouble for talking about tea bagging in math class. He wasn’t in trouble but he asked that I have a discussion with my son about what is appropriate to talk about in school. I wasn’t entirely sure what tea bagging meant so I went back to work and my coworkers and I looked it up. 🤦🏼♀️" – MrsStewy16
12. "When mine was about 4, preschool drop-off, teacher asked how her weekend was ... and she said 'it was great', then in her loudest voice, announced 'and when I grow up I'm going to have a hairy vulva just like my mom!' Of course there was an audience of several teachers, many children and parents. Everyone just tried not to laugh while I'm mortified that now like 25 random people know my pubic hair grooming habits." – InannasPocket
13. "Well in 2nd grade my son was sitting with the class in a circle, and he realized something was static stuck to the inside of his pants leg- he pulled the item out- and it was my black lace thong!! I work at the school, so the entire class saw Ms.(my last name)’s black thong! And to make matters worse, he didn’t know what it was at first, so he held it up and said 'what is this!?' Just to ensure everyone saw it 🤦♀️." – Enough_Vegetable_110
14. "In preschool my son asked if he could go to the farm next door to pick some corn because corn makes whiskey and whiskey makes his mother feel a little frisky (i was a country music fan at the time)." – WinchesterFan1980
Alcohol Drinking GIF by Four Roses BourbonGiphy
15. "Oh boy! I collected my son from Primary school one day, he was around 4/5. I was pulled aside and told 'your son exposed himself to a little girl today.' I was surprised to say the least! We'd had the "underwear rule" chat before he started school. (No one, no child or adult, should ask to see your parts covered by underwear) So I asked him about it as we walked home. He was obviously upset about it and told me, 'the girl always asks me to make her laugh, so I tried to show her my pants.. but I caught my pants and my willy came out.' So I went to school the next day and explained what he'd told me, Teacher said she'd double check the story and come back to me. Then, afterschool that evening, I was pulled once again, and told 'No. The first story was correct, he just decided to show her his privates.' Lol Wonderful." – Whoopsie_Todaysie
16. "My son told his classmate he was going to put a baby in her so that was funny. They are 5. He literally just learned that only girls can birth babies but you need a boy as well sooo he decided he wanted a baby with 2 girls and loudly proclaimed it at school lmao. He also told them once that in their kindergarten marriage, he is 'the boss'. Teacher told me about it cause she thought it was hilarious." – seejae219
17. "My daughter's dance teacher pulled me aside to let me know my daughter had no underwear on and please could she wear it in future as everyone got an eyeful. Daughter was 5 or 6 and had just started getting herself dressed. She had told me she didn't like wearing underwear, but I got her bike shorts to wear instead. She decided those were optional, apparently. We had to check her before leaving the house for a while afterwards!" – Organic_Air_4106
18. "My daughter was 3 when her baby sister was born. Apparently she spent the first day back at preschool telling anybody who would listen, 'My baby sister drinks milk from my mommy's boobs!' She had a lot of trouble understanding why that was true and accurate, but she still needed to stop running around yelling about boobs. There was also an incident where she kept singing 'I gotta stay high all the time!' at preschool, so we had to ban a particular song from the radio." – RoRoRoYourGoatRoRoRoYourGoat
19. "My son, at age 6 or 7, took a 'bathroom potion' (mixture of shampoo and bathwater) to school and shared with his buddies, then told the recess supervisor it contained vodka. Not entirely untrue as the shampoo was called 'Vodka on the Locks' and was orange scented and coloured, and yes, contained non-alcoholic vodka. I was mortified when I got that call." – One-Possession3733
20. "Ok, here goes. When my son was in pre-k, he was definitely ADHD but we couldn't get a diagnosis or treatment for another year (long aggravating story). So we go pick him up and get pulled aside. He had been standing at the bottom of the slide with a plastic bat, bopping his classmates as they came down. She asked him what on earth he was doing. He looks over his shoulder, shit-eating grin on his face, and proclaims 'this is awesome!' then going back to bopping. The hardest part was keeping a straight face and stern tone while telling our son he wasn't allowed to play Whack A Mole with his friends 🤣🤣🤣" – LoanSudden1686
