Ash Beckham has long been a champion for the LGBTQIA+ community, advocating for living openly and proudly gay. Her speeches resonate with many due to their honesty and powerful messages.
At IgniteBoulder, Beckham's speech titled “I am SO GAY” gained widespread attention for tackling the misuse of the term "so gay" as a slur. She urged people to "say something" to change perceptions of LGBTQIA+ individuals. "You can legislate tolerance—you can't legislate acceptance," she asserted, emphasizing the need for societal change. Beckham's speeches encourage proactive education and claiming space, addressing both LGBTQ and broader audiences.
Beckham believes that "coming out" is not just for those revealing they are gay; everyone has a "closet" where they avoid tough conversations. "And although our topics may vary tremendously, the experience of being in and coming out of the closet is universal. It is scary, and we hate it, and it needs to be done," she explains in her TED Talk "Coming Out of Your Closet." Beckham shares a touching story about a conversation she had feared for years, which turned out to be easier than she expected.
Frequently asked "Are you a boy or a girl?" Beckham initially felt defensive about answering. However, one day she chose to lower her defenses and engage in an honest conversation with a little girl who posed the question. Taking a deep breath, she replied, “Hey, I know it’s kind of confusing, my hair is short like a boy’s, and I wear boys’ clothes, but I’m a girl and you know how sometimes you like to wear a pink dress, and sometimes you like to wear your comfy jammies, well, I’m more of a comfy jammies kind of a girl.” The girl responded, “My favorite pajamas are purple with fish, can I get a pancake please?” Beckham realized then that this was the "easiest hard conversation" because they both chose to be genuine with each other.
"Not having those hard conversations, that can go on for years, and your body just can’t handle that," Beckham said. She offered three tips for coming out of any metaphorical closet. First, "Be authentic, take the armor off, be yourself." Second, "Be direct, you say it, rip the band-aid off. If you know you are gay, just say it. If you tell your parents you might be gay, they will hold that hope that this will change. Do not give them that sense of false hope." And the third tip, she said, which is also the most important, "Be unapologetic. You are speaking your truth. Never apologize for that."
"I guarantee you there are others peering through the keyhole of their closets looking for the next brave soul to bust a door open so be that person, and show the world that we are bigger than our closets and that a closet is no place for a person to truly live."
This article was originally published last year.
