The trailblazing “first mom” in every friend group is finally getting the recognition she deserves. Being the first to navigate pregnancy, childbirth, and the early days of parenthood without a built-in support network can feel daunting and isolating. Yet these pioneering parents often end up shaping a supportive path for the friends who follow in their footsteps.
Becca, a TikToker whose first baby is six weeks old, brought renewed attention to this underappreciated role. Her heartfelt video, which has garnered over 118,000 views and 12,000 likes, spotlights the unique challenges faced by those who go first into motherhood. Without peers who fully understand what they’re experiencing, these parents must learn as they go, often feeling alone in a world of unknowns.
What’s remarkable, as Becca explains, is how these “first moms” turn hardship into guidance. Their trial-by-fire education becomes an invaluable resource for others. By the time their friends start their own parenting journeys, the first mom already has knowledge, reassurance, and advice ready to share—often as comforting and accurate as what a pediatrician might provide.
Giving thanks to the "spiritual and educational leader"
Becca is giving love to the trail blazing moms in her life.the real becca
"If you’re out there braving parenthood without a group chat of fellow moms to tell you how to do it…you are so impressive to me."
—Becca (TikTok)
Becca’s own experience exemplifies this. She relies heavily on a friend who had children before anyone else in their circle. To Becca, this friend is a “spiritual and educational leader” who seems to have read every parenting book so no one else has to. Whenever a question arises about her baby, Becca consults her friend first, then the pediatrician, often finding the answers align perfectly.
"It’s like she read all the books so we don’t have to. Whenever there’s something going on with my baby, she is my first step. I ask my friend and then I ask the pediatrician."
—Becca (TikTok)
It's lonely going first
The women who went first often recall how no one fully understood their situation at the time. Now, they find themselves fielding questions, offering reassurances, and sharing tips. With each piece of advice, they’re paying forward the lessons learned through their own challenges, ensuring that newcomers to motherhood won’t feel as lost or alone.
Experts suggest building supportive communities—online groups, local meetups, or even parenting classes—to help fill the gaps. Such networks can alleviate feelings of isolation, whether you’re the very first of your friends to have a baby or joining later and benefiting from a mentor’s insights.
"If you were the first parent and you did it all on your own … I just want you to know that you are an incredible person, and people like me, we wouldn’t survive without you."
—Becca (TikTok)
For those who have reaped the benefits of a trailblazing mom’s guidance, now is the perfect time to express gratitude. A kind word of thanks or a small gesture of appreciation can mean the world to the person who once navigated the unknown so the rest of you wouldn’t have to.
