Instantly 'click' with someone? Science explains 5 reasons why.

Meeting new people and making new friends as an adult can be a rough process. But sometimes, there's a magical instant connection between you and someone new that makes you feel totally understood. 'Clicking' with someone right off the bat is a wonderful feeling. And there's actually scientific reasons you feel simpatico with someone so fast.

Sebnem Ture M.Sc., explained to Psychology Todaythat there are 5 specific reasons: you have similar brain activity, speech patterns, demographic characteristics, vulnerability and sense of humor.

Brain activity
When you click with someone instantly, you really are on the same wavelength. Ture points to a 2018 Dartmouth University study that found "people in close social relationships showed similar brain activity," as well as "similar neural activity when processing the narrative content of stories and generally making sense of the world."

Another 2018 study measured brain activity in romantic couples that found, "Simply being in each other’s presence caused their brain waves to sync, as measured by EEG, particularly in wavelengths called the alpha–mu band. These brain waves are a mark of focused attention," Sharon Megley wrote for Greater Good Magazine.

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Speech patterns
Ture explains that another reason you may 'click' with someone is because you have similar speaking patterns that mirror each other, called Language Style Matching (LSM). "A study on speed dating found that pairs with high LSM were far more likely to express mutual romantic interest than those with lower LSM," she notes.

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Demographic characteristics
Similar demographic characteristics defined as age, ethnicity, class, and education level may also draw you to another person.

"If two people interpret and respond to the world in similar ways, they’re easily able to predict one another’s thoughts and actions," Megley writes. "This increased predictability makes it easier to interact and communicate, which makes conversations and shared experiences more enjoyable. It also makes friendships more likely."

Vulnerability
A shared sense of vulnerability between a person you just met can create an instant connection because Ture notes it can make you "feel understood, more secure, and connected." She points to research by Ori Brafman, who wrote the book In Click: The Magic of Instant Connections to explain vulnerability can be created by "asking meaning-making questions—for instance, What’s something meaningful that’s happened to you in the last week? To increase the sense of authenticity and appropriateness."

Sense of humor
Laughter is a powerful tool for connection. Ture shared a quote from social psychologist Sara Algoe who studied how shared laughter can create a sense of similarity. "For people who are laughing together, shared laughter signals that they see the world in the same way, and it momentarily boosts their sense of connection," she said.

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This unique experience has people sharing their experiences about why they 'click' with people.

"As someone who has "clicked" platonically with a lot of people, I think the biggest thing that contributes to the feeling is just being your authentic self during conversations. I know lots of people who aren't interested in what I like or who don't get my humor, but there's tons of people who just sort of get me and what I'm trying to say," thatoneguy54 replied.

Another person named Kaiisim shared their insight and another theory why people 'click'. "One theory is called shared reality. When you have two people focused and speaking about a third party they will bond. Anytime you are experiencing something with another person its a chance to bond. Ever noticed how when a plane gets delayed all the passengers will be more chatty? It's because you all have a shared reality to bond over. That's why bonding over the internet is harder. It's also why I tell anyone looking for friends - board game club!!"

And another summed up the experience of instantly connecting with someone perfectly: "Easily and quickly falling into emotional and conversational shorthand, in my opinion. It's such a relief to find someone who speaks and thinks like you."