A wedding is supposed to be a celebration of love and family, but for one man, it became the breaking point in his relationship. Reddit user u/whoevenisthat5 shared how he was forced to call off his engagement after his fiancée refused to include his 11-year-old daughter in their wedding.
At first, he thought it was just a disagreement over wedding roles—but when he found out her real reason for wanting to leave his daughter out, he realized there was no future for them.
A seemingly happy engagement turns sour
The 45-year-old had been married before and shared 50/50 custody of his daughter, “P”, with his ex-wife. When he met his now-ex fiancée, “S”, she and P got along well, and everything seemed to be falling into place.
"I divorced my ex-wife on good terms and we share 50/50 custody of P. She is now 11. After I divorced my ex-wife, I met my now fiancée (S). S and my daughter got along very well. After five years in my relationship with S, I proposed."
Excited for the big day, S immediately started planning—picking a venue, choosing bridesmaids, and selecting her niece as the flower girl.
The first red flag: ‘She doesn’t fit the part’
The issue began when he suggested that P should also be a flower girl, alongside S’s niece. Her reaction caught him off guard.
"S looked at me funny and then said that she didn't think that P would 'fit the part,'" he recalled.
Feeling unsettled, he told her his daughter needed to be part of the wedding. Instead of reconsidering, S stood her ground and dismissed the idea.
"She said that the girls in the wedding were up to her and that my daughter wouldn’t be one of them."
That was the moment he realized this wasn’t just about wedding preferences—it was about how she truly felt about his daughter’s place in their future.
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Duané Viljoen
His daughter’s words broke his heart
Later that day, he spent time with P, who was already looking forward to the wedding and assumed she would be part of it.
"She thought she would look pretty in whatever dress S picked for her."
Hearing this hit him hard, and he decided to step back and think. He texted S, telling her he’d be staying at a friend’s place for a while.
Instead of understanding, her mother reached out, accusing him of overreacting.
"My MIL texted me saying I am overreacting and that my daughter doesn't have to be in my wedding and I was an a** for saying that I would cancel."
The truth comes out—and it’s worse than he imagined
Determined to get a straight answer, he met with S to talk things through. That’s when she revealed her real reason for excluding P.
"She sat in silence, so I asked the first question, 'Why does P not fit the part, and why don't you want her in the wedding at all?' Her answer full-on shocked me."
S confessed that after the wedding, she expected him to become a "holiday visit-only dad." She wanted him to give up custody and only see P a few times a year.
Not only that—she didn’t want P in the wedding photos because she wouldn’t be around much afterward.
He ends the engagement on the spot
Realizing there was no coming back from this, he calmly removed his engagement ring.
"I kept my cool, calmly took her hand, and pulled my engagement ring off."
S burst into tears, insisting that they shouldn’t end the relationship over this and that she could change. But for him, the damage was done.
"I told her I wanted her things moved out by next week and that she could come get them when my daughter wasn’t home."
Representative photo by Michal Balog | Unsplash
The internet rallies behind him
Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with the dad, praising him for choosing his daughter over a toxic relationship.
Image Source: Reddit | u/blacksyzygy
u/muppetjonbonjovi called out S’s controlling behavior, writing:
"Props to you for standing up for your daughter! That's exactly what a good dad should do. Your fiancée is trying to diminish your daughter's role in your wedding. Whatever bullsh*t she means by her not 'fitting the part,' sends up huge red flags to me too."
Others agreed that this was a sign of much bigger problems ahead.
One commenter, u/dry-structure-6231, summed it up well:
"I hope you are seriously reconsidering the marriage."
Image Source: Reddit | u/ThatHellaHighHobbit
A father’s choice that left no room for doubt
For this dad, the decision was clear: his daughter comes first, no matter what.
Instead of ignoring the red flags, he took a stand—and in doing so, ensured that his daughter will always know her place in his life is unshakable.
And as for the honeymoon? He had a better idea.
"Our honeymoon was supposed to be in Hawaii. Looks like P and I will be going instead."
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