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Postpartum depression (PPD) can affect nearly 1 in 7 women (including singer Adele), according to the National Library of Medicine. For partners of new moms, the first few months after welcoming a new baby can be a scary time of change and uncertainty with mental health. To help support his partner, Reddit user jerseydd asked r/NewParents, "What can a husband do for a wife experiencing postpartum depression?"

He shared, "Happy to say my son arrived via c section safe and sound. My wife has always been an anxious person. She has been prescribed medication in the past. We have been having some great days while my wife recovers and we learn how to care for a newborn." However, he added that he knows things may change. "I know the postpartum will hit soon. What can I do as a husband? New moms what did you do to get through postpartum depression? Any advice is greatly appreciated."

Here are 15 of the most helpful responses to the question: "What can a husband do for a wife experiencing postpartum depression?"

1. "16 days pp and this is what has helped: always giving me time to take long showers and do my full skincare routine, making meals, handling household chores, foot massages while I BF, positive affirmations when I’m feeling down, encouraging us to go on short walks outside, handling 1 out of the 2 middle of the night feeds himself. My husband has been my absolute rock and I feel more and more myself everyday." – yoons_td

2. "Learn her routine, know what she needs and force it. Force her to eat, force her to drink water, make sure she can take her vitamins. Take as much stress off of her. You’ve got the 'crap' work right now, literally cleaning the crap. Feeding a baby is work. 9/10 I’m rocking him/patting his butt at the same time. That 2 minutes my wife changes the diaper or burps baby gives me so much relief. I’m able to stretch or drink water or pee. If you’re tracking babies poo/feeds, track it with her. If you’re up with the baby in the morning make sure your wife can’t hear the baby. (Obv get her if baby needs to eat if she’s breastfeeding). Make sure she has time with the baby outside of just feeding the baby. Someone else giving the baby a bottle if she’s breastfeeding isn’t a break. Wash bottles, if you wash some bottles / pump parts wash everything. On top of affirmations, kiss her forehead, hug her, show her love." – CanUhurrmenow

Baby and dad.person carrying baby while reading book Photo by Picsea on Unsplash

3. "Being able to sleep some interrupted (even 4 hours) and be in my own bed (I was stuck on the couch for awhile after my c-section due to pain), being able to take a shower everyday, and going outside for a short walk everyday once I was able to were the keys for me. Good luck to you both!" – MeowsCream2

4. "I had PPA and the best thing my husband did was hug me and repeatedly tell me I was a great Mom and he loved me." –Ceeceemay1020

5. "Picking up on household chores. Don’t wait for her to ask you to do something, if you see something that should get done go ahead and do it. Cooking, laundry, cleaning, diaper changes, etc. I promise it will mean the world to her. It got to the point where I had to break down for my husband to finally understand he can’t let everything fall on me. Just the fact that you’re asking the question shows how much you really want to be there. Congratulations to the both of you :)." – User Unknown

6. "Also, the most incredible thing my husband has done for me that I’ll thank him forever for- he is the one who wakes up with baby overnight to feed/soothe so I can have uninterrupted sleep. Every night. It’s helped me heal mentally and physically. This started once I wasn’t pumping overnight and baby was only waking a time or two, obviously not in the beginning." – Fabulous_Eye_7931

7. "Best thing you can do is learn on your own. I think many times the responsibility falls on the mom to know best safe practices or how to do certain things. It’ll help relieve her anxiety if you know all this stuff yourself and show you care." – kofubuns

8. "Basically just help make sure she’s getting some uninterrupted blocks of sleep and that she has ample time to shower regularly and food and water. Getting out of the house is important too. Even if it’s just for an hour or so every few days. And don’t constantly be bringing it up. If my husband was treating me like a ticking mental crisis bomb I’d probably turn into one. Congratulations!" – Loud-Foundation4567

Mom and baby.woman in white crew neck t-shirt holding baby Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

9. "A hot shower every day and 100mg of Zoloft. I experienced incredibly hard postpartum anxiety after my firstborn, and after a year of not feeling anything like myself, talking to my doctor and getting on medication completely changed my mental state! My anxiety was out of my control and made no logical sense, but having a husband who supported me while I got on medicine and talked through my feelings made all the difference." – abelle09

10. "I had PPA and one thing that helped was my husband always telling me he trusted me and that I was the best mom for our baby. I was constantly second guessing every decision and choice I made for baby, and one day while I was explaining my rationale to him on something I had decided, he stopped me from explaining and told me that he trusted my mom gut even when I didn’t trust myself. For some reason the way he said it that day finally stuck and helped me start trusting myself too. (Was not in a state that I felt harm for myself or baby, just literally didn’t feel like I knew how to keep baby safe.)" – ZestySquirrel23

11. "Give her a day to herself. I promise this goes far mentally. Watch the baby and let her go get lunch, get her nails done, etc. Do not call her unless it’s an emergency. Let her have time to breathe and take care of herself. Reassure her it is okay that she has that time to herself. When she gets back don’t immediately give the baby back. Let her have a minute to breathe, and when she is ready give the baby back." – Silent-Impaler

Manicurewoman doing manicure Photo by rashid khreiss on Unsplash

12. "Mom to an 18 month old here, I got PPR and PPA and my husband helped me through it all...I had an emergency C section and for the first 3 weeks I didn’t get out of bed once at night for my daughter. He got up each time and changed her and handed her to me to feed. I can’t tell you how much this helped my recovery both mentally and physically! Make sure she gets rest and gets to sleep uninterrupted And this one was a big one for me that caused a lot of arguments between us. When the baby is crying and she says give him to me - give her the baby!!! The feeling I felt when my daughter would cry and she was with someone else felt like my skin was crawling, my heart was racing and my anxiety was through the roof. When my daughter cries I want her back and I want to soothe her and idc if 'you can do it too' I NEED to." – Illustrious_Road_858

13. "Along with the already great advice I just want to add that encouraging her to talk to her doctor if it gets really bad is important. Even after my husband doing everything he can to help and me leaning on him, I needed medication because it got to the point where he was afraid to leave me alone because of the thoughts I was having towards myself. The only thing I would change about how my husband handled it was not saying anything like how he’s afraid to leave because it made me feel awful even though he didn’t mean it in any certain way. Good luck. Hormones can wreak havoc after birth and sometimes we just need extra help. I’m on the other side of the course of meds I was prescribed and I can say it definitely helped." – cmb0710

14. "Do small things! Tell her you’re proud of her for being a mom, that she’s doing great, bring her coffee before she wakes up, support her, hug her, bring her flowers, small things!" – NNunez28

15. "My best advice from my ob after delivery is to be mindful about crying. If you cry and you feel better, that’s healthy. If you cry and you feel worse, ask for help, take a break, try to get some sleep." – Impermanent_Being


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