Becoming a parent is hard enough. Becoming a parent without anyone in your immediate circle who’s been there before? That’s next-level courage. For generations, women have quietly stepped into this role—the "first mom" in the friend group—and TikTok creator @thereal.becca is making sure they finally get the recognition they deserve.
In a heartfelt video that’s resonating with tens of thousands of viewers, Becca talks about what it’s like to navigate early motherhood without a playbook. Her baby is just six weeks old, but already, she’s become acutely aware of how tough it can be to go first—and how crucial that first-time parent can be for everyone else who follows.
"You are so impressive to me."
— @thereal.becca
A tough role with big rewards
Being the first to have a child in a social group comes with a unique set of challenges. There’s no ready-made group text with other moms. No one else is up at 3 a.m. worrying about feeding schedules, sleep regressions, or whether that diaper rash is normal. These first-time parents often turn to the internet, books, or trial and error to figure things out.
And then, something amazing happens: they become the expert.
Becca is giving love to the trail blazing moms in her life.the real becca
Becca shares that she’s lucky to have one of these pioneering moms in her life. Her friend, the first in their circle to have kids, has become a guiding light for Becca—a “spiritual and educational leader” who always seems to know what to do. Before reaching out to her pediatrician, Becca often asks her friend first—and more often than not, the advice lines up perfectly.
"She read all the books so we don’t have to."
— @thereal.becca
Turning isolation into leadership
These early mothers often describe the experience as lonely. Without peers who understand what they’re going through, they’re left to figure things out as they go. But that solitude, over time, becomes something powerful. Their lived experience becomes a lifeline for others.
As more friends enter the parenting stage, the first mom becomes the go-to source for questions, comfort, and camaraderie. She knows which pacifier actually works. She can tell you the difference between a growth spurt and a sleep regression. She might even have a spreadsheet of baby product reviews.
And while this wisdom is invaluable, the emotional impact of having someone who gets it—who gets you—is perhaps the most lasting gift of all.
"We wouldn’t survive without you."
— @thereal.becca
Building a new kind of village
Experts say building community is key, especially for parents who feel like they’re going it alone. Online groups, local meetups, parenting classes—these aren’t just about sharing advice, they’re about building solidarity. Even if you’re not the first, chances are you’ve leaned on someone who was. And if you were the trailblazer, it’s never too late to find a network of others who understand what that path was like.
So if someone you love was the first to take on this life-changing role, now’s a great time to say thank you. Send them a message. Drop off a coffee. Let them know their quiet heroism mattered, and still does.
Because the first mom isn’t just the one who had the baby first, she’s the one who made it easier for everyone else to follow.
