For many women, marriage meant giving up personal choices because their husbands disapproved. But after becoming widows, some found new freedom—doing things they had been denied for decades.
The conversation started when 81-year-old Betty Cartledge went viral for voting for the first time in her life after her husband passed.
"I am going to vote for the first time in my life," Cartledge told Courier Newsroom (@couriernewsroom on TikTok).
She explained that her late husband didn’t want her to vote, and she had never questioned it—until now.
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Element5Digital
A wave of stories follows
After her story spread, other women began sharing the things they finally did after their husbands died.
From getting their first credit card to finally wearing jeans, these stories shocked and inspired thousands.
Here are 23 powerful firsts women experienced when they were finally free to make their own choices.
1. A long-awaited piercing
"When my grandpa died, my grandma finally got her ears pierced." — @vinarxb
2. Building friendships again
"When my grandpa died, my grandma suddenly made friends and had cousins." — @cloudy.ugh25
3. Reversing years of damage
"My grandpa used to win the deeds to people’s houses gambling, and when he passed, my grandma gave the deeds back in the wives’ names so the men couldn’t gamble it away again." — @creolenebulas
4. Raising a glass
"When my papaw died, my memaw had her very first glass of wine the next day." — @_sleslie
Representative Image Source: Pexels | Pixabay
5. A sweet act of defiance
"When my great-grandfather died, the first thing my great-granny did was bake a strawberry cake. He was allergic to strawberries." — @cailin.98
6. Free to express herself
"My papaw didn’t want my mamaw wearing lipstick because he thought it would attract men’s attention. When he died, she wore lipstick all the time." — @alliewink1072
7. Packing up and leaving
"My grandma had her bags packed before my grandpa was in the ground. She got her own apartment and ditched her house. You never know what is really going on." — @rubyjune21
8. Embracing natural beauty
"My grandpa died and my nana started wearing her natural hair." — @lavender.in.the.rain
9. Living life on her terms
"When my father passed away, my mother wore makeup for the first time, got several tattoos, and lived an amazing life! She was only 15 when she was married. My father was 22!" — @franklinpiercy2
10. The ultimate act of defiance
"My mother-in-law wasn’t allowed to buy patio furniture, so she got six sets and put them all over her yard after her husband died. The resentment is real." — @user7616
11. Her first financial freedom
"My grandma had no credit score at age 76. She was never allowed to have anything in her name. At 76, she proudly got her first credit card." — @b__mcmohan
12. A life without limits
"My neighbor’s dad died and she said her mom didn’t shed one tear, went on vacations, wore the clothes she wanted, and lived a grand life for 20 more years." — @producermama
13. Learning to read at last
"My grandma learned to read and write after my grandpa died. She died only being able to read and write at a 1st-grade level." — @snowykitsune21
14. Finally, a choice of her own
"When my grandpa died, my grandma put a window in the living room and went to Jamaica. I wonder now if she ever voted." — @brandalah44
15. Free to grow her hair
"My dad didn’t let my mom grow her hair out. If it wasn’t the length he liked, he would cut it himself. When he died, she grew it down to her shoulders." — @mountaingirl7771
16. No more unpaid labor
"My grandma mourned for a few months. Then she called the hospital where she’d been volunteering for 30 years and turned it into a paid position. He wouldn’t let her earn her own money." — @goombaw99
17. Chasing her dreams
"When my great-grandpa died, my great-grandma was in her 40s and was finally able to go to college and work as a nurse because he didn’t let her." — @belle4192
18. The vacation she always wanted
"My grandfather was a horrible man. When he passed, my grandma took the insurance money and went on vacation with her sister and my mom to Hawaii for two weeks." — @floridacarol
19. Learning to drive
"When my grandpa passed, my grandma got her driving license and a job." — @feliciamorrowjack
20. Buying her first pair of jeans
"My grandma wasn’t allowed to wear jeans. One of the first things she did was buy jeans." — @kimberleybleeker
21. Finally, her first tattoo
"My grandma always wanted a tattoo, but my grandpa didn’t want her to do it. When my grandpa passed, she got a big forearm tattoo." — @queenofcarrotflowers87
22. A long-awaited purchase
"Not even 24 hours after my grandpa died, my grandma bought her first television. In 1992." — @heyItsjess
23. Color returns to her life
"Grandma-in-law always wore black until her husband died. Since then, full-blown crazy color!" — @brynseycarm
Furry friends are importantRepresentative image via Canva
Couple has annoying conversation
The one phrase people most want to ban forever—and 20 more that drive us all nuts
If you’ve ever cringed at hearing “It is what it is” or rolled your eyes at someone saying “No offense…” before delivering something totally offensive, you’re definitely not alone. Some expressions are so irritating, so overused, or so grammatically cursed that hearing them once more might just push us over the edge.
We asked our Facebook audience, “ If you could ban one annoying phrase from existence forever, what would it be?” and holy moly, did the floodgates open. Typically, a given question might rack up around 5,000 comments—but this one? Over 14,000. People shared responses that were funny, petty, brutally honest, and occasionally downright poignant. From phrases that try (and fail) to sound wise, to those so overused they've lost all meaning entirely—here are the top contenders folks are completely done with.
The one phrase nearly everyone wants to vanish
By far the most repeated offender was:
Over and over, users cited this as the ultimate non-response. It’s dismissive, it ends conversations, and it offers exactly zero comfort or help.
Another big category? Expressions meant to comfort that end up being painful or insulting. These include:
Many commenters explained that these phrases, while often well-intentioned, feel dismissive in times of grief or hardship.
Grammar gripes and word crimes
Grammar lovers had a lot of feelings. Some of the most-cited “please stop saying this” phrases included:
And let’s not forget the collective rage over “pacifically” when people mean “specifically.”
Words that reveal more than they intend
Several users took issue with phrases that feel passive-aggressive or intellectually lazy, such as:
As user Jacqueline C. put it, “'To be honest...' What does that mean? That you're not honest any other time?”
Phrases tied to racism, sexism, or toxic positivity
A significant number of respondents took aim at harmful or politically charged phrases. Among them:
These comments weren’t just about annoyance—they were about the emotional weight and social impact of language.
James G. didn’t mince words when he wrote: “‘Go back to your country, then’ 🤬. The epitome of racist. I love my country, plus my ancestors did not ASK to be brought here the way they were.”
Corporate speak and empty buzzwords
You knew these were coming.
These phrases sparked a different kind of rage—one reserved for staff meetings and marketing emails.
Iris H. summed it up: “Most corporate speak. Downsizing. Low hanging fruit. Pivot. etc…..” Just say what you mean, please.
Why this resonated so deeply
There’s something unifying about shared irritation. These phrases might seem harmless or routine, but for many people, they’re like verbal paper cuts—tiny annoyances that, over time, sting a lot more than they should.
Whether it’s poor grammar, dismissive condolences, or flat-out hate speech in disguise, we’re collectively craving language that’s thoughtful, clear, and kind.
So the next time you find yourself reaching for one of these expressions, take a beat. Maybe there’s a better way to say what you mean. Or maybe… just don’t say anything at all.
And if you’ve got your own phrase that should be banished from existence? Don’t worry—there’s still time to add to the list.
Got another phrase that needs to go? Drop it in the comments on our original Facebook post.
Bonus: The top five most hated phrases from our poll
Let’s make 2025 the year we finally stop saying all of them.